Two buddies, Jim and Tim, were getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly Tim throws up all over himself. "Oh no......my wife will kill me".
Jim Says "Don't worry pal, Just tuck a twenty in your breast pocket and tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill".
So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker. Eventually Tim stumbles home and his wife starts to give him a bad time. "You reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself! My God your disgusting!"
Speaking very slowly so as not to slur his words, Tim says "Nowwainaminit, I can e'splain everythin itsh snot wha jew think. I had only a cupla drrrinks.
But thiss other guy got ssick on me......he had one too many an he juss kudin hold hizz licker. He said he was verrry sorry an' gave me twnney bucks for the cleanin bill".
His wife looks in the breast pocket and says, "But this is forty bucks".
Tim says, " Oh, yeah.....I almos' forgot, he shhhhit in my pants too".
