Humor Schmunzelecke - Nur Text-Witze 2

[Mad Mac]

Was ergibt sieben mal sieben?

Spoiler: ?

Ganz feinen Sand

 

[Homebrew]

Das Gehalt ist wie die Regel bei der Frau.
Es kommt am Anfang der Monats, geht fünf Tage lang. Wenn es ausbleibt, hat man ein Problem.

 

[clonie]

Woher kommt das T bei T-shirt?

Spoiler

von Tyrannosaurus Rex – wegen der kurzen Arme!

 

[Mahonra]

Children are hereditary. If your parents didn't have any neither will you🤷🏻‍♀️

 

[Mad Mac]

Der Chef zu seiner blonden Sekretärin: "Sie haben ja vom Tuten und Blasen keine Ahnung!"

Spoiler: Darauf sie:

"Was bitte ist Tuten?"

 

[WollMac]

Der Chef zu seiner blonden Sekretärin: "Sie haben ja vom Tuten und Blasen keine Ahnung!"

Spoiler: Darauf sie:

"Was bitte ist Tuten?"

Manche schaffen auch das...

 

[Mahonra]

If you ever think English is not a shit language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme but read and lead don't rhyme, neither do read and lead🤔

 

[fa66]

In Reading people aren’t necessarily literate.

 

[WollMac]

If you ever think English is not a shit language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme but read and lead don't rhyme, neither do read and lead🤔

Thats why Jimmy Page named his Band "Led Zeppelin" instead of "Lead Zeppelin". He was afraid that some thick americans might say Lead Zeppelin instead of Lead Zeppelin.

 

[Elvisthegreat]

This old lady handed her bank card to the teller and said, “I would like to withdraw $10”. The teller told her, “For withdrawals less than $100, please use the ATM."
The old lady wanted to know why. The teller returned her bank card and irritably told her, “These are the rules, please leave if there is no further matter. There is a line of customers behind you”.
The old lady remained silent for a few seconds and handed her card back to the teller and said, “Please help me withdraw all the money I have.” The teller was astonished when she checked the account balance. She nodded her head, leaned down and respectfully told her, “You have $300,000 in your account, but the bank doesn’t have that much cash currently. Could you make an appointment and come back again tomorrow?"
The old lady then asked how much she could withdraw immediately. The teller told her any amount up to $3000. “Well, please let me have $3000 now.” The teller, very kindly and with a smile, handed $3000 to her.
The old lady put $10 in her purse and asked the teller to deposit $2990 back into her account.
HAHAHA
The moral of this story is...
Don’t be difficult with old people, they spent a lifetime learning the skill.

 

[Mad Mac]

Ei zink aim onn ze vronk peetsch.

 

[WollMac]

Ei zink aim onn ze vronk peetsch.

You are heavy on wire.

 

[Jubilado]

this is not the yellow from the egg.

 

[Mahonra]

Ich habe einen Minderwertigkeitskomplex

Spoiler

aber keinen sehr guten🤷🏻‍♀️

 

[WollMac]

Ich habe einen Minderwertigkeitskomplex

Spoiler

aber keinen sehr guten🤷🏻‍♀️

Die gute Nachricht: du kannst daran arbeiten.

 

[Mad Mac]

Ich habe einen Minderwertigkeitskomplex

Einfach jeden Post kommentieren ob es passt oder nicht, das hilft! 🙋🏻‍♀️😊

 

[clonie]

ab 16:07 wird zurückgeschissen?

 

[Mahonra]

Die gute Nachricht: du kannst daran arbeiten.

Ist das ein Witz?☺️

 

[WollMac]

Ist das ein Witz?☺️

 

[Mahonra]

🤪😚❤️